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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27680201">Unbreak My Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneMcSommers/pseuds/AnneMcSommers'>AnneMcSommers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Queliot Week 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magicians (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Queliot Week 2020, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,395</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27680201</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneMcSommers/pseuds/AnneMcSommers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 7: Free Choice - I break things</p>
<p>In an Au where Quentin didn't go to the seam, Eliot and Quentin see each other for the first time following the removal of the Monster from Eliot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Queliot Week 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unbreak My Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eliot had finally gotten out of the infirmary, and the first thing he did was go after Quentin.  Quentin whom he hadn’t seen since he had the monster pulled out of him.  It had been over a week in the infirmary at Brakebills and everyone else had visited him, even Alice, who everyone else seemed to have forgiven, but no Q.  Bambi tried to play it off as nothing, but with some not so gentle probing he had managed to get the story out of her and the others.</p>
<p>The monster had screwed with Quentin, big time, so much so that when the time came to go to the seam, they didn’t feel comfortable letting Quentin go.  In fact, Quentin hadn’t just not been visiting him, he hadn’t been going anywhere.  In a depressed, me and my bed against the world kind of way.  Eliot had considered waiting, had considered giving Q the space the process, the move on, considered that Eliot was the last person he would want to see.  But Eliot had promised himself that day in the park that if he made it out alive, he was going to be brave, and now that meant standing outside Quentin's door fully dressed, over dressed really, wrapped in bandages, and leaning heavily on a cane to keep him upright. </p>
<p>He knocked on the door, no answer.  He knocked again, no answer.  He started to worry, what if he wasn’t there.  Eliot pressed his ear to the door and he heard a rustling noise inside the room, nope just playing hard to get. He knocked louder and far longer this time. </p>
<p>“Go away Julia.”</p>
<p>“It’s not Julia, can I come in?”  Silence.</p>
<p>“Q?” he asked again.</p>
<p>“Eliot?”  He sounded wrecked, and Eliot was through the door before he even thought about whether or not it was a good idea. Quentin was laying in the middle of the bed, in a pile of blanket, his face peering out at Eliot.  He didn’t look scared, just sad.  Eliot didn’t know what was worse.</p>
<p>“Oh, Q.”  He said, sitting heavily on the bed beside Quentin.  He didn't want to crowd Q, but he couldn't stand any longer.</p>
<p>“Should you even be out of the infirmary?”  Quentin asked, and Eliot realized he must look as bad as he felt.</p>
<p>“Was released an hour ago.” Eliot replied keeping his voice deliberately light.</p>
<p>“And you came here?”  Quentin sounded incredulous.</p>
<p>“Where else would I go?” Eliot answered, because he could not think of anywhere else he’d rather be than here.</p>
<p>Q faltered, “Why?”</p>
<p>Eliot scoffed before he could stop himself.  No, he thought, time to be brave.  He gathered his courage. “Because I love you.”</p>
<p>“No, you don’t” Was not the response he was expecting.</p>
<p>“What, yes, Q, I love you.” He argued back, a little defensive.</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Why what, why do I love you? I just, do.”  There were a lot of responses Eliot had expected, but denial of Eliot’s feelings wasn’t the list.  He was caught off guard to say the least.</p>
<p>“I don't believe you, why now, why here,” Quentin looked around a bit suspiciously. “Am I hallucinating?”</p>
<p>“If you were how would asking me help” Eliot responded his voice damp. “Why don't you believe me?”</p>
<p>“Why should I?” Quentin struggled out of the blankets to sit up, he sounded angry now.  “God Eliot, I fuck everything up, why would you love me, I”</p>
<p>“Break things.” Eliot finished for him, and if he could go back in time and change one thing, it would be to stop Quentin's mother from drilling that idea into his head.</p>
<p>“Ya, El, I break things, Alice, Magic, That God Damn Quest, and then God, Eliot my Dad, he.  I break things, everyone who has ever loved me has been seriously fucked for the privilege, and last time I checked you weren’t interested.  That wasn’t us, I should go be life partners with someone else, isn't that what you told me.”</p>
<p>Eliot cringed; he would never stop regretting that.  “Q”</p>
<p>“No, you don't just get to Q me and act like I am crazy Eliot, this is crazy.”  Quentin had moved to standing now, and was pacing back and forth.</p>
<p>Eliot let out a wet laugh, and it caught Quentin's attention. “What part of this is funny?” Quentin demanded.</p>
<p>“You think you break things.  God, Q, you have nothing on me. Getting out of my head that day it took facing my worst memory, the worst thing I have ever done.  You think you break things, I killed someone when I was 14 because they tormented me, and I beat the shit out of the only kid who was ever nice to me because I thought it make the rest of them spare me.  News flash it didn't.  I have a Mom, and a Dad, and 4 brothers back in small town Indiana and there isn't one of them that would cross the road to spit on him if I was no fire because being a fag is a god damn sin and I couldn't stay in the closet. </p>
<p> The first guy I ever let in, ever told that to, was being fucking possessed by a monster, and I killed him too.  I married a peasant girl trying to make things better and it cost her a baby and all of her toes. Alice, if I hadn’t been so high, I might have been able to help because at the end of the day I have one thing going for me and that’s way too much power, but I couldn't get over myself and Alice died.  I couldn't fix Fillory, and my idea, not yours, but my stupid idea to kill Ember and Umber got magic turned off.  I couldn't hold up my end of the quest.  I fucked up saving you from the monster, and if I hadn’t shot it, you wouldn't have been tormented the last year, but none of that, none of that is the worst thing I have ever done Q.” He took a jagged breath.</p>
<p>“The worst thing I did was sit there in that throne room and tell you it wasn’t us, because it was, and I loved you and I was too damn afraid to face it because I didn't want to lose you when you realized you didn't have to put up with me because there were better options out there.  You think you break things; Q I broke us. You don’t break things Q, I break things.  You always put them back together, make them better.  You make me better, and I promised myself if I survived the monster I would tell you that.  That I love you, that you make me braver, and here I am, and you don't even believe me because I broke this too damn badly to be fixed.  I, I.” He couldn't catch his breath; it was too much.</p>
<p>He felt the bed dip beside him.  Quentin's arm wrapped around him, and he collapsed into him, his muscles not longer able to keep him upright.  </p>
<p>“You really love me?” Quentin asked quietly.</p>
<p>“Yes Q, I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you too, you know that right?”  He asked, sounding a little anxious.</p>
<p>“I had hoped.  I, is, do you want.”  Eliot stopped frustrated. “Is this too broken?”  Eliot asked, raw.  He had to know, even if the answer wasn’t what he wanted.<br/>
“It’s pretty broken El.  You broke it really good.”  There was a silence, not quite what he had hoped for.</p>
<p>“Did anyone tell you I finally found out my discipline?”  Quentin asked on a non sequitur, pulling away a bit.</p>
<p>“Not a psychic I presume?” Eliot joked, trying to lighten the mood.</p>
<p>“Nope, well actually its quite a coincidence.  Its minor mending.”</p>
<p>“Minor mending?”  Not one of the ones Eliot had heard of, but Quentin seemed happy enough with it.</p>
<p>“Ya, was hoping for something a bit grander, but its pretty practical, especially now.” There was a tone in Quentin's voice Eliot couldn't quite identify.</p>
<p>“What exactly does one do with minor mending?” He asked finally. </p>
<p>“Repair of broken objects.”  Quentin said smiling at him, and Eliot smiled back confused as Quentin leaned forward slowly.</p>
<p>As Quentin closed his eyes the coin dropped, oh Q, he thought and then Q’s lips met his and there weren't anymore thoughts.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The sentence I break things stuck with me, especially after the reveal of Quentin's discipline.  My first foray into the fandom, and one of 7 works I wrote this past week for Queliot week, but unfortunately couldn't get edited before the week ended.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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